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February 7th, 2006

My Defense of Your Existence

My contemporaries must either leave readers laughing or drown them in paradox. Comedians and scientists are today's priests. In comparison, my drab and simple description of life will sound moribund.

Everyone describes their lives in relation to others. Despite the solipsist excusing persons as illusions of mind, people nonetheless must be reckoned. We imagine alien worlds where aesthetics prosper and Nirvana overwhelms but we always mention someone else when discussing anything useful. So despite my affair with her, abstraction is impotent without people.

Many times I am accused of being 'on something' when consuming life. Life is vital. My ecstasies and epiphanies demonstrate life's free and unbound potentials; they inundate my observers with an unnatural, uncomfortable oddity.

I have endured your stare. It pierces me at this moment. You look at me with pity and disbelief, chuckling at my absurdity, rolling your eyes to belittle my meaning. You dilute my words into some misunderstanding that pacifies! Yet my moments are the most beautiful. So I grasp life without description, aware that it slips through my fingers only as a memory.

I ask neither for pity nor consensus. What I do demand is an inquiry into the depths of your being, beyond clarity, staring fear in its face. Stand before your faith, whomever or whatever it may be, and ask, with reverence or respect, the question that would shatter the pillar upon which you stand. I know you avoid it, as do I. The question whispers; it shudders your soul like the crisp, winter wind that catches your breath.

Disagree with me here. Advocate your individuality! while demanding that I yield to your understanding. Your rebuttal is expected, clear and evident as in all relationships. A game of give and take plays out between parties as spectators ask who will triumph. This is one of my great realizations from a nation promulgating freedom and liberty: one attains only so much as one surrenders. I cackle to think that you believed we would naively gravitate around your will. Did you honestly believe you could rise the steps of Olympus without us noticing?

Damned pubescents! I remain furious that benefactors of freedom impose expectations upon me while saying they demand none from anyone. Few understand what the Founders meant by equality for all men, or at least the bounds their ideal places upon choice. From your lips scream demands for your liberty and your freedom, but you take both from beggars daring to disagree. Your selfish understanding is vacuous and a hypocrisy the Christians would revel to burn if the wall fell between church and state.

I yield only in awareness! a formidable and subtle foe to these babbling cries in selfishness. Only when my desire is satisfied by your will to power shall I submit. Accept my defense of your existence: you are in some way useful to my purpose.

It rests in your hands whether to take my defense as a compliment or insult to your being. In your case, I consider any reponse (or lack of response) an expression of your freedom.