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April 2nd, 2008

One-Liner Sucker

Evidently people like one-liners.  My lack of brevity and unending ambiguity irritates them ... , it seems subtle nuances aren't in vogue anymore; so I've succumb to the Will of the Masses and started blurting imperative or terse responses.  Examples:

JockSalesman:[we don't have your shoe size, but we do have these ...]
Me: Cancel the order.  (End of Line)

AnnoyingCustomer:[we changed nothing; it must be your system.]
Me: No other customer has complained about email.  (End of Line -- really, after that was my signature.  No explanation or anything.  Just total "fed up".)

Boss:[i need A done, and B wasn't done right, so go ahead and do C too]
Me: Done.  (End of Line)

The first is a command, the second a conversation stopper, and the third was an undercut -- oops, I slipped in some subtle disrespect there.  The sad part is that I had thought of responding to each person in a more conversational way.  *meh* fuck it.  Maybe this will lead to incomprehensible responses, like ... "Like".  The irony is how much I enjoy short reads!  Books aren't people but someone wrote all those words and I like an author that gets to the point of the matter, but they still have to convince me or immerse me in what they write.  So too with speaking or conversing yet people seem to respond best when confronted with militant one-liners, like Admiral Adama barks out.  I think it lets them think less, and you don't want the Masses thinking too much.  :)